


Dirk, Jake, and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known

by epilogues



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C (Homestuck), Getting Back Together, M/M, Not Epilogue Compliant, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28676505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epilogues/pseuds/epilogues
Summary: Or at least, how they started to get there.
Relationships: Jake English/Dirk Strider
Comments: 16
Kudos: 88
Collections: DirkJake Big Bang 2k21





	Dirk, Jake, and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so excited to finally be posting this!! a big big thank you to tomatograter for running the big bang, and a big big BIG thank you to Ozuzo for drawing the absolutely gorgeous illustrations for this fic! you can find her work on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/ozuzoart/?hl=en) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/ozuzoart?lang=en)
> 
> cw: brief mention of alcohol use
> 
> enjoy!!

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 3:14am  


GT: Ahoy there strider!  
GT: Not that im expecting you to be awake right now as it is quite early and all.  
GT: Thats kind of why im pestering you i suppose.  
GT: Its an awful lot easier to talk to you like this sometimes.  
GT: Which is not to say that its difficult or unpleasant to talk to you!  
GT: In fact that would be quite unfair to say considering that we havent talked in quite some time!  
GT: Not by any fault of yours mind you.  
GT: Well i suppose thats not entirely true.  
GT: The blame seems like it fits best on both of our shoulders for that one.  
GT: Nevermind all that though!  
GT: I just thought it was about time for me to reach out.  
GT: Youre one of my best friends dirk.  
GT: Which i know doesnt sound like much of an achievement what with the fact that we  
GT: You know  
GT: Havent really been talking much at all as of late.  
GT: Which id like to change!  
GT: To be frank jim and joseph with you i miss you dirk.  
GT: I suppose thats a bit of a loaded statement considering everything but i mean it!  
GT: We really had some capital times back before all of the game hullabaloo.  
GT: And i know i cant just expect things to be the same because obviously the game changed a lot of things.  
GT: I mean were friggin gods now!  
GT: If im being honest again dirk i have to say i still cant really believe all that.  
GT: Can you believe we really have an eternity to just hang out here!  
GT: Assuming nothing too just or heroic happens of course but i digress.  
GT: If you dont mind me circling back around i suppose that alls just another reason why i wanted to extend the old olive branch.  
GT: No sense in spending eternity estranged as they say!  
GT: Uh so anyway.  
GT: I didnt mean to say quite so much but i guess theres no taking it back now.  
GT: The point is that id like to talk to you again.  
GT: So whenever you end up reading this just answer i suppose!  
GT: Presuming youd like to of course.  
GT: And that you make it through this blasted wall of text.  
TT: I’ve read it.  
TT: I don’t know why you thought I’d be asleep. When have you ever known me to have a “normal” sleep schedule?  
GT: Oh dirk!  
GT: I know i already said i thought you were asleep but jumping jehosaphat i really thought you were!  
GT: What are you doing up at this hour?  
TT: I could ask you the same question.  
GT: Ah well i suppose this has kind of become the routine.  
GT: Just a bit of scotch and then an all night movie marathon!  
GT: I couldnt find anything i wanted to watch tonight so here we are.  
TT: Jake. Are you drunk?  
GT: Well i wouldnt go so far as to say that.  
GT: A bit tipsy sure but nothing like what dear roxy used to get up to!  
GT: Things were really quite a mess back then werent they?  
TT: You could say that.  
TT: Look, Jake, I don’t want to talk to you if I’m just someone to talk to when you’re drunk and lonely.  
GT: Dirk i just said that im not drunk.  
TT: “Tipsy,” then, or whatever you want to call it.  
TT: The point is that I’m not doing this with you.  
TT: If you really want to talk, fine. Just do it when you’re sober.  
TT: Substances have never once done anything positive for any of us, and I honestly can’t believe you’re drinking when you very clearly know this.  
GT: Its really not like that alright!  
GT: But i didnt come here to argue.  
GT: Jiminy cricket knows weve done enough of that.  
TT: Again - if you’re going to insist on having this conversation, fine.  
TT: I’m not going to pretend like I haven’t noticed that we haven’t talked in months.  
TT: But I’m not doing this at three in the fucking morning while you’re “tipsy.”  


timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 3:38am  


GT: Consarn it dirk im really fine!  
GT: I really meant just a bit. I know you think im quite stupid sometimes and maybe youre right on that but im really not about to go stumbling off the wagon after everything thats happened.  
GT: But alright.  
GT: I should probably get some shuteye anyway.  
GT: I know youre not reading this but you should too.  
GT: Goodnight dirk.  


golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 3:42am  


*  
golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 12:17pm  


GT: Hello dirk!  
GT: So this is a bit awkward and i apologize if you dont want to talk but i just wanted to say im right sorry about last night.  
GT: I shouldve known that being under the influence wasnt the best time for a heart to heart but you know how it goes.  
GT: Liquid courage and all that!  
GT: But im all right and sobered up now so if you really meant that youd be willing to talk nows as good a time as any i suppose.  
GT: Well presuming that youre not involved in any shenanigans at the moment.  
GT: You certainly have a reputation for being quite a busy fellow.  
GT: Which i have to say i respect!  
GT: Even though it does make you an awfully difficult bugger to chat with.  
GT: And i daresay i owe you some actual conversation at this point. If youre willing to oblige me of course.  
TT: Hey.  
TT: I can’t talk for long, since I do have some projects to work on. But I can talk.  
TT: What did you want to say?  
GT: Well hm i know i said an awful lot of bluster and poppycock last night but really i just want to talk.  
GT: The specifics arent terribly important.  
GT: How are you?  
GT: That seems like a good enough place to start i suppose.  
TT: I’m fine.  
TT: Pretty busy, like you said. Now that I have access to actual resources, I’m getting to make a lot of projects that I could only plan in the hypothetical before.  
GT: That sounds right fascinating!  
GT: What sorts of projects?  
TT: Eh, you know. Bots and shit. Nothing all that important.  
GT: Well come on i know ive never shown far too much of a proficiency for that sort of thing but that doesnt mean its not interesting.  
GT: What sort of bots?  
TT: Like I said, nothing all that important.  
TT: How are you doing?  
GT: Oh quite good!  
GT: Keeping busy of course!  
GT: Well i suppose thats not entirely true. I must say ive spent an awful span of time in my house as of late but i figure that ought to be expected.  
GT: Being in a real society is plenty exciting but i really find all the options for activities quite overwhelming!  
GT: I mean just take all of the cinema for example.  
GT: Ive barely scratched the surface of the monkeys pit!  
TT: I think that might actually be a new one for you.  
TT: “The surface of the monkey’s pit”?  
TT: Is that, like, an Earth C thing or do you really just come up with these on the fly?  
GT: Hmm.  
GT: Im not sure whereabouts that came from actually. Now most of my little sayings come from old tomes of legend and whatnot so i wouldnt be surprised to find it in there.  
GT: Though since its a new world it might be well in my wheelhouse to start coining my own vernacular!  
TT: Oh my god.  
TT: I’m sure I’ll regret this within the week, but keep me updated. I’m intrigued to hear the shit you come up with.  
GT: I sure will! Im sure i need someone with your linguistic knowhow to keep me in check as it were.  
GT: Make sure i dont go careening too wildly off the rails!  
TT: Or maybe that you don’t get too buggered down in the malarkey?  
GT: Exactly!  
GT: You know dirk maybe youre the one that ought to get in on this capital opportunity.  
GT: Youve got quite a knack for it!  
TT: Nah, that crosses an ironic line I don’t think even I’m at yet.  
TT: You can have that one free of charge, though, hot off the presses. Keep it safe, though, you can probably make bank off of it once the world realizes it’s the only one they’re getting.  
TT: Sell that shit on Ebay with one of your old socks or something and you’re even more set for eternity than you already are.  
TT: It’s all about playing the game.  
TT: Boondoggling the tiger, maybe?  
TT: That one sucked, actually, let’s keep that in the vaults.  
TT: Blustering the devil, though, that’s got an inane little ring to it. Vernacular Ebay, look out.  
GT: Now mr strider i daresay that both of those were quite good!  
GT: Although im not sure why you insist on making it a business thing.  
GT: I understand youre just joshing of course but for goodness sake i thought id actually started talking to ole janey for a second!  
GT: Have you talked to her recently? Shes all facts and figures for her bakery and its wonderful and all but it does start to make a fellows head spin after a bit.  
GT: Honestly what with all the details it makes me feel a little bit like were back in the ole game! Just trying to sort it all out and coordinate all these planets and grist collections and all the other friggin nonsense.  
GT: That sure was quite a time wasnt it!  
TT: Yeah.  
TT: I should be getting back to work.  
GT: Oh right you are! Id hate to keep you from your mechanical endeavors.  
GT: …  
GT: If you dont mind me asking are you leaving because you have to work or because you dont want to talk about the game?  
TT: Take a wild fuckin’ guess.  
GT: Ah.  
GT: Frig dirk im sorry for being such a blustering clod with that one. If youd rather id still be happy to hear about your projects or somesuch!  
TT: Can I say something that might come across as asshole-ish?  
GT: Of course! Honestly whats the point of friendship if you cant be a little blunt sometimes.  
TT: Right.  
TT: Look, I’m just, like, really surprised that you even noticed I was lying about my reason for wanting to leave.  
TT: Well, semi-lying.  
TT: What are you trying to do here?  
GT: Gee willikers dirk that really wasnt too assholeish at all.  
GT: I know ive been an awfully oblivious fellow to lots of things in the past but i really am trying to work on it.  
GT: Im trying to work on a lot of things i suppose.  
GT: Which is what im doing here! Not to go saying that youre a thing or anything but as i said last night i miss you and id quite like to be chums again.  
GT: I wont force you to stay and chat obviously but id be much obliged if you did. And i really am sorry about bringing all that nonsense up.  
TT: It’s fine.  
TT: I know you won’t force me, though, mostly because you can’t.  
TT: I’ll talk to you later, Jake.  


timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 12:56pm  


GT: Argh yes i meant cant!  
GT: Jumping jehosophat dirk you know i dont think all that much about what i say before i toss it out.  
GT: It was good to talk to you though.  


golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 12:58pm  


*  


timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 10:42pm  


TT: Hey.  
GT: Why hello!  
TT: Look, I just wanted to apologize for yesterday.  
TT: Leaving like that was an asshole move.  
TT: Against my better judgment, I think you have good intentions, just… not the best execution, sometimes. And, I mean, that isn’t something I’m a stranger to.  
TT: So, I’m sorry for being a dick.  
GT: Its quite alright chap!  
GT: I mean if apologies and whatnot are the foot you want to get off on here then i fear well be here all night.  
GT: Honestly if were on the same page it might work best to just call it all even as it were.  
TT: This is probably a bad idea, but sure. Let’s call it even.  
TT: Apologies don’t get me off, as a general rule.  
GT: What?  
TT: Dude. Do you even process what you say as you’re typing it?  
GT: I mean i dont know how else id get it out!  
GT: Ah. I see.  
GT: Now come on dirk youre just being purposely difficult here.  
GT: I clearly was talking about the foot! Which is a perfectly common figure of speech for those of us whose minds dont reside in the blasted gutter.  
TT: I know.  
TT: I was just fucking with you.  
GT: I figured as much but it is awfully hard to tell with you sometimes i must admit.  
GT: Now sure im often told that i can be obscure and whatnot but as far as im concerned i think im quite clear!  
GT: Perhaps a bit creative with my speech of course but nowhere near as purposely insincere as you.  
GT: It really comes across like you just dont want to be understood most of the time!  
TT: Understatement of the year right there.  
GT: See there you go again! I just handed you a plethora of statements and now i have no way of knowing which one youre disagreeing with.  
GT: I understand that when one is as cool of a fellow as you a certain level of casual obscurity is required but really!  
GT: It all makes me feel a bit of the fool if i continue this personal trend of being direct.  
TT: I meant that you being “a bit” creative with your speech is an understatement. Not to have last night’s conversation again, but sometimes it feels like you’re just writing a dictionary on old-timey adventure speak in real time.  
TT: Look, Jake, it seems that you’re trying to put some of your hang-ups out to dry, which is great, but that doesn’t mean it’s suddenly going to become a two way feelings jam over here.  
GT: If you dont mind me interrupting i have two things to say to that!  
GT: First off you better not tell me that youre that dangblasted auto responder. Now i love hal and hes a splendid chum but not when ive been lead to believe that im talking to my best bro.  
GT: Second off why not!  
TT: What the fuck?  
TT: No, I’m not Lil Hal. He merged with that sweaty troll sprite, remember? And either way, he hasn’t impersonated me in a long time.  
TT: Thank fuck for that.  
TT: And as for your second question, again, this isn’t a two way feelings jam.  
TT: If I wanted to go to therapy, I would, and I’m kinda thinking that you should do the same.  
TT: It’s great that you’re trying to get your problems out, but I’m not just going to be a sounding board for every issue that’s plagued your psyche since it developed.  
GT: Christ on a cracker dirk!  
GT: I know about arquiusprite. In fact i think hes a fine fellow!  
GT: But i wouldnt have put it past you to have backups or whatnot for hal so i think it was all well and fair to make sure im not paddling in the wrong direction.  
GT: And id like you to know that i do in fact go to therapy!  
GT: Roxy recommended me to a lovely lady over in the troll kingdom and we have chats every other week.  
TT: Oh.  
TT: I mean, shit, that’s great, and I’m glad if it’s helping.  
TT: But I still don’t get why you’re coming to me with this shit if you can talk to her.  
GT: Well you see old chap shes actually the one that suggested i talk to you!  
GT: I mean i mentioned on a fair few occasions that wed grown apart since all of the  
GT: Well you know what i mean.  
GT: And that there were quite a few things i wish id said to you back in the day!  
GT: So here i am.  
GT: Now i suppose it was a bit rash of me to expect you to be in the same boat of course and i dont expect you to talk back but that or at least a listening ear would be appreciated.  
GT: Of course you are under no obligation and i know you know this but well thats all of it i guess!  
TT: …  
TT: What’s your goal here?  
GT: What do you mean?  
TT: What’s your goal, like, why are you doing this?  
TT: From what I’ve heard and seen, actions recommended by therapists are usually in service of some previously expressed goal, so what’s yours?  
TT: You’ve been very upfront so far, and I’d appreciate it if you carried that into putting your motives on the table.  
GT: Well to keep being very upfront ill admit im still figuring that bit out as well.  
GT: But one thing that i know is that youve historically been one of my best chums and id hate to lose that! Especially when weve got so much fiddle faddling time stretching out in front of us.  
TT: That’s fair, I guess.  
GT: I quite agree funnily enough!  
TT: Alright, well, since this is all sanctioned by a professional, have at it, I guess.  
TT: I’ll listen.  
TT: But that doesn’t mean I’m going to talk.  
GT: Got it!  
GT: You know dirk i think you might get on with laura  
GT: (Thats my therapist)  
GT: Quite well! If youd ever like me to put a word in for you im sure she could fit you into her schedule lickety split.  
TT: I’ll keep that in mind.  
GT: Okay i have a hunch that that likely means that you will not be keeping it in mind but the offer stands regardless.  
TT: Alright. Thanks.  
GT: No problemo!  
TT: Did you hear about that “totally bangin party” Roxy is planning for next month?  
GT: I do recall hearing somesuch about that!  
GT: The occasion for the shindig seems to have slipped my mind though.  
TT: Same, actually.  
TT: I think it was something along the lines of the halfway point between our arrival and the anniversary of the first time Callie sent her fanart of us, but with Roxy, who knows.  
TT: Are you going?  
GT: I was planning on it!  
GT: I have to say all of the big events arent really my thing what with the copious amounts of people and all but roxy said she would appreciate it if i popped in even for a moment.  
GT: So i suppose i will! You?  
TT: I’m still making my mind up. It depends on how far I’ve gotten on this bot by then.  
GT: Which one is this?  
TT: Nothing too complicated. It’s basically just a roomba that can also cook.  
TT: I wish I’d had the parts to make it back in my apartment, but I didn’t exactly have enough kitchen utensils or food to go ham on the experimental phases.  
TT: It should be done within the next six weeks or so.  
TT: The roomba tech was easy enough to recreate, since I’d made something similar before the game, but I had to figure out how to compress it all into a smaller casing.  
TT: And now I’m working with Jane on the cooking components. Honestly, the hardest part so far has been removing the propaganda still stuck in most of her cookbooks and gadgets and shit.  
TT: Uh, yeah. That’s basically it.  
GT: That all sounds fascinating!  
GT: Ive never delved too much into robotics after making good ole terry back in the day so i have to thank you for sticking to laymans terms.  
GT: Youll have to show me some sort of demo once youre done.  
TT: Yeah, sure, if you want to see it.  
TT: Like I said, it’ll probably be a bit, but I’ll let you know once its done.  
GT: Splendiferous!  
GT: Well chap i hate to cut this short but i promised jane id meet her for breakfast tomorrow so i really should be hitting the haysack.  
GT: Ill talk to you soon! And best of luck with your robo endeavors.  
TT: Thanks, Jake.  


golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 11:53pm  


*  


timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 9:01am  


TT: Hey.  
TT: So, obviously, tell me to fuck off if you want, but Dave and I are going caving out by the human kingdom today, and you’re invited.  
TT: It won’t be anything too intense, since it’ll be our first pass over there.  
TT: Like I said, though, no pressure.  
TT: Just let me know sorta soon.  
TT: Well, I mean, Dave can time travel, so actually just let me know whenever.  
GT: Ah good morning!  
GT: Well that sounds capital if you ask me!  
GT: But im afraid im going to have to turn you down.  
GT: Its not that i wouldnt love to of course but then again caves have never really been my preferred space to be in.  
TT: Gotcha.  
TT: You don’t have to explain it, dude, it’s fine.  
TT: Just thought I’d ask.  
GT: Oh i know!  
GT: I really do appreciate the gesture you know.  
GT: Its just that… well.  
GT: Actually im afraid this might turn into one of those codswalloping “feelings jams” or somesuch and id hate to keep you regardless of any aforementioned time traveling capabilities!  
GT: Naturally theres no obligation on your part but if youd like to chat a bit later theres some things i probably owe you an explanation for, as much as any debt of that sort is owed from me to you.  
GT: Golly that was a lot of bullduggery to say no thank you but if youd like to chat later id appreciate it.  
TT: Okay, that’s cool.  
TT: I’ll pester you when we get back then.  
GT: Sounds great!  
GT: Have fun and do stay safe!  
TT: Will do.  


timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 9:15am  


*  


timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 2:32pm  


TT: Hey.  
TT: Did you still want to talk?  
GT: If its alright with you nothing would be better!  
GT: But first do tell me all about your adventures. How was it out there?  
GT: Or in there i suppose what with you going into caves and all.  
TT: It was good.  
TT: We found this wholeass cavern after a little bit and hung out there. It was probably bigger than my old apartment, if I’m estimating right.  
TT: We also found out that Dave is, like, terrified of bats, which was a lot funnier than it should’ve been.  
GT: That does sound quite amusing i must say.  
TT: Yeah, he literally froze them in time. Very Scooby Doo-esque, somehow.  
GT: Now hold on a cotton picking moment strider.  
GT: I do seem to recall you once swearing off scooby doo media even though i recommended it to you what must have been countless times.  
GT: Well perhaps my recommendation may have been more of the cause for your disdain than anything else but thats neither here nor there.  
TT: Look, man, I still stand by the fact that any franchise that created Scr*ppy Doo is from hell. That shit transcends even the most ironic of enjoyment.  
TT: But I got bored, so I’ve seen a good number of the movies.  
TT: They weren’t the worst things I’ve ever seen, even on a slightly sincere level, but again - Scr*ppy.  
TT: I’d prefer to keep my engagement with them at a minimum.  
GT: And yet you still referenced them…  
GT: *Raises eyebrow investigatively.*  
GT: And i dont know what all of this slander about scrappy doo is for! I find him to be a great source of comedy and heroism.  
TT: I have never seen greater amounts of bullshit in my life, and I don’t think I ever will.  
GT: Now come on! Hes really not that bad.  
TT: It just sounds like you’ve fallen under his demonic wiles, Jake. I’m sorry to say it, but it’s too late for you.  
GT: Oh blah blah blah.  
GT: Trust me ill find some way to prove that youre quite wrong.  
TT: I really, really don’t look forward to that.  
TT: But anyway, I’m assuming you wanted to talk about something other than yet another of the strangely specific cultural phenomena we somehow brought with us.  
GT: Oh yes right you are!  
GT: Well now that were here i feel a bit silly as i happen to have this feeling that you already know what im about to admit.  
TT: I wouldn’t put it past me. Shoot.  
GT: Its nothing gobsmackingly awful or anything i assure you but well i suppose its just that i  
GT: Well i dont like adventure!  
GT: I love the idea of it dont get me wrong. Pilfering sacred tombs for their riches and solving ancient puzzles and all of that is so exciting but i do think that i prefer it to stay on the silver screen.  
GT: And of course you know with the game and all that was a bit of a mess! I finally got the opportunity to have the adventure id almost convinced myself id wanted but well without getting into it that certainly wasnt the case.  
GT: I didnt really enjoy it and i dont think that i would have even if everything had gone a little more swimmingly and a little less.  
GT: Well as i said we wont get into it.  
GT: Egad thats a weight off my chest.  
GT: I really do appreciate you listening you know.  
TT: No problem.  
TT: I mean, you’re right, and I’m not going to act like I haven’t know for a while and at least suspected for a longer time than that. But it was cool then, and it’s cool now.  
TT: If you wanted or want to present yourself as a gun-slinging asshole, that’s your fuckin’ prerogative.  
GT: I dont think i do but i do appreciate that thought.  
TT: Fair.  
TT: I’m sorry if I was an ass about it back then, what with the Brobot and the constant exploration of our lands and shit.  
TT: I knew on more than a subconscious level that you’d much rather be back in your house watching movies, but I was never sure whether you wanted me to acknowledge that or not.  
TT: So I went with what I thought was best, which was to try and least prepare you for survival in whatever ways my brain decided you needed to be prepared at any given moment.  
TT: I know I said I didn’t necessarily want to get into my own shit, and that’s still pretty true, but I owe you an apology for that.  
TT: So, I’m sorry.  
GT: God im not sure how to word this without it sounding all insincere but i really appreciate that dirk. Thank you.  
GT: That said though i dont actually think you owe me much in the way of an apology at all!  
GT: Even if you had directly asked me what it is that i wanted im quite sure i wouldve lied.  
GT: It wasnt your job to figure out what i wanted when i didnt even know what it was.  
GT: On the bright side of things though i think im starting to figure out what that is.  
GT: What i want i mean.  
TT: That’s… good.  
TT: What do you want? If you don’t mind me asking.  
GT: Oh i dont mind at all old chap especially since it does seem that were waist deep in the emotional mud as it were.  
GT: Well right now mostly just to admit that im just a massive nerd!  
GT: Ive spent today organizing part of my comic collection and i have to say that brought me more enjoyment than any sort of wilderness excursion would have.  
TT: Well, in that case, welcome to the fuckin’ club.  
TT: Here’s your official membership badge. Wear it wisely.  
GT: Haha i sure will!  
GT: Thank you dirk. Really.  
GT: Like always youre still under no obligation to listen to any of my hornswoggling rambles of course but i cant say how much i appreciate that you do.  
TT: Anytime, dude.  
TT: But just know that you’re going to have to listen to me talk about philosophy for, like, two days straight one day as payment.  
GT: Might that one day be far in the future?  
GT: Not that i wouldnt love to hear about pluto and who all right now but id actually best be off.  
TT: Plato.  
TT: But okay, I’ll save them. I gotta have time to outline and make a PowerPoint, you know how it goes.  
GT: Egad.  
GT: Well im not sure if i can say im looking forward to it but ill talk to you soon dirk!  
GT: (Im just pulling your leg by the by i am in fact looking forward to our next chat.)  
TT: (I know.)  


golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 3:06pm  


TT: (Me too.)  


timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 3:06pm  


*  


golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 1:25pm  


GT: Hey dirk!  
GT: Im awful sorry we just missed each other at roxys little get together last night. I wouldve stayed longer but ive been trying to stick to this regular sleep schedule thing my therapist recommended.  
GT: How was the rest of the party though?  
TT: Hey.  
TT: It was pretty good. I wouldn’t call it a party so much as just people hanging out, or at least that’s how it was by the time I got there.  
TT: But it was nice to actually see everyone.  
TT: Well, almost everyone, I guess.  
TT: When did you leave?  
GT: Around eight i think? Roxy messaged me right after i got home and mentioned that youd just shown up and i have to say i felt like a right gobsmacker about the whole thing.  
GT: Ill just have to see you next time i suppose!  
GT: Do you happen to know what holiday roxys going to invent next?  
TT: As a matter of fact, I actually do.  
TT: If I remember correctly, it’s the fifth half-anniversary of Rose’s first publishing date back on the old Earth or some shit like that, and it’s next Saturday.  
GT: Well cheese and crackers that sounds like a ripsnorter of a time i must admit!  
GT: I did try to read roses novels once a while back but i could never quite get through them.  
GT: They were just a tad wordy for my tastes but perhaps if she ever rewrites and adapts them into graphic novels id be persuaded to give them another shot.  
TT: Never tell her I said this, but I’m with you there.  
TT: I mean, of course I’ve read them, and they do have a lot of value, but I just think it’d be fuckin’ hilarious to see all of those beards in visual form. It’d really enhance the experience.  
GT: Right you are!  
GT: Ooh this might be a bit silly but do you think roxy might be persuaded to add wizardly beards to the dress code for next saturdays gathering?  
TT: Well, actually, I’d be the one to ask, not Roxy.  
GT: Whatever do you mean?  
TT: Somehow, I’ve ended up being the one that’s hosting.  
TT: And fuck, I didn’t even think about adding a dress code. Let me make a note of that real quick.  
GT: Oh i was just tugging your leg about that bit! Im not sure if theres been any sort of dress code at any of these in quite a few years.  
GT: Thats so exciting that youre hosting though! Ive always meant to offer but then again ive never done anything of the sort and i think id be in a bit over my head.  
TT: Yeah, exciting’s one word for it.  
TT: I guess if this blunt honesty train we’ve been riding around on has an open seat, I might have to climb aboard for a moment.  
GT: Well of course theres an open seat! Climb aboard old chap!  
TT: Alright. I’m not going to roleplay it or anything, but let’s say I’m there now.  
GT: Now come on strider commit to the bit!  
TT: No.  
GT: Just for one line! Im sure youve got to loosen up a bit to get into the proper headspace for party planning anyway.  
TT: …. Fine.  
TT: *Dirk climbs aboard the Blunt Honesty Train and sits down in one of the uncomfortable wooden seats. He regrets the decision to do so almost immediately, but it’s already started moving again and it’s too late to get off now.*  
GT: Thats the spirit!  
GT: Alright so whats going on?  
TT: It’s really not that big of a deal or anything, but, like, I’ve literally never done anything like this before.  
TT: I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.  
TT: And I mean, you probably know that that’s not a place I like to be in, as a general rule.  
TT: Like, okay, I know it won’t be a big deal if the food is actually better suited for a fifth half-anniversary of a movie deal than a publishing date, but I don’t want anything like that to happen.  
TT: Both Roxy and Rose deserve that, you know?  
TT: I know it’s just a small thing, but I don’t want to let them down.  
GT: Well let me go ahead and put a disclaimer here that i am obviously not going to be much of any help with the actual party details since im just as far up this creek and just as paddleless as you but!  
GT: I can certainly do my best to assuage some of your worries.  
GT: You know that roxy will be more than delighted with whatever it is you put together! You could turn the event into a my little pony marathon and as long as we got together thatd be more than enough.  
GT: I mean all of us in regards to the getting together part of course.  
GT: But come now dirk i know you know that its not so much the fifth half-anniversary of anything that matters to roxy as just hanging out with everyone!  
TT: I know, I know.  
TT: But I agreed to host a party, and I don’t want to go back on that.  
TT: Look, you don’t have to reassure me or anything, it’s all good.  
TT: I got what I needed to off of my chest, and the train’s safely back in the station.  
GT: Now hold on just a moment!  
GT: Has it ever crossed that awfully big brain of yours that im reassuring you because i want to?  
GT: I know im not obligated or anything of that sort. But youre one of my best chums and have been for a long time and if chums dont reassure one another in times of need im not sure of whether theyre chums at all.  
TT: Oh, shit, look at that, the train’s back on the rails.  
TT: Not to bring this up again, but if that’s your measure of friendship, I really don’t know why you count me as a friend.  
TT: Back when we were first starting to talk again, I did less than jack shit to reassure or comfort you or anything like that.  
GT: And thats alright! No ones perfect dirk even though you do try awfully hard to get as close as you can.  
GT: I wasnt expecting us to jump right back into the smooth waters of a well forged bro-ship back then and its really all quite alright. You letting me ramble off was more than enough.  
GT: Just as you letting some people  
GT: And trolls i suppose  
GT: Into your house next week will be more than enough for roxy and rose and everyone else!  
GT: If you really want to make it a proper party then im certain youll do plenty of research and make it the grandest book half-anniversary this planets seen but if you dont want to then itll be just as splendid to get to see everyone for a bit.  
TT: Yeah, I guess you’re right.  
TT: Thanks, Jake. Seriously.  
GT: Well of course!  
GT: You know youre always welcome to ask for help with these sorts of things and of course if theres anything i can do to help with any decorating or whatnot im more than happy to assist.  
TT: I know. And I’ll let you know.  
GT: Excellento!  
TT: I should probably start doing some research, actually, but I’ll keep you updated on how it goes.  
GT: I look forward to the updates! And to the shindig itself of course.  
GT: Bye!  
TT: Bye.  


golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 2:31pm  


*  


timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 10:34pm  


TT: Hey, I know we just talked a few hours ago, but you asked for updates.  
TT: Well. I guess saying I just started researching five minutes ago isn’t much of an update, but you know.  
GT: Whatever have you been doing all day? I thought youd have dived headfirst into party etiquette and whatnot by now.  
TT: Ha, yeah.  
TT: I was going to, but one of the parts I needed for that bot I mentioned the other day got here not long after we finished talking earlier.  
TT: It was a bitch to install, but now there are only a few more things I need to do to get this thing finished.  
GT: Oh thats awesome dirk!  
GT: I believe ive said as much before but id still love to see this little fellow in action once hes all completed.  
TT: I mean, you’re welcome over any time.  
TT: Okay, well, not *any* time. I’ve got irons in the fire pretty much all 24/7 and shit, but still. Standing invitation, provided you make sure I’m free first.  
GT: Got it!  
GT: And i suppose i should make it clear that thats a two way street! My humble abode is always open to you old chum.  
TT: Good to know.  
GT: I must say though it doesnt seem like youll be able to get far on your research if were chatting while you try and do it.  
TT: Nah, it’s cool. I’m basically the master of multi-tasking, remember?  
TT: I’m knee fuckin’ deep in the trenches of party etiquette, by which I mean I’m on the second page of Google.  
GT: *Gasp!*  
GT: Jumping jehoshaphat i had no idea i was in the presence of such a daring adventurer on this fine evening!  
GT: Dont get too lost in there now.  
TT: I don’t know, it might already be too late.  
TT: The third page is beckoning.  
GT: If you must venture forth then i wish you the best my good sir.  
TT: Thanks.  
TT: If I don’t make it back, tell my husband I love him.  
GT: Of course!  
GT: And who might this lucky fellow be on the chance i need to contact him?  
GT: Er.  
GT: Lucky in the sense that were all lucky to find love you know how it is.  
TT: I got you.  
TT: Uh, let’s call him Jeff.  
GT: I will alert dear mr. jeff if anything is go to awry!  
GT: Now if you dont mind me stepping out of these awfully fun shenanigans for a moment and asking a bit of a personal question.  
GT: Does jeff happen to correspond to anyone here?  
GT: On earth c i mean.  
TT: What do you mean?  
GT: Are you seeing anyone?  
TT: Why are you asking?  
GT: Well i mean.  
GT: Im sure it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure it out which probably wouldnt exclude you anyway now that i think about it.  
GT: If youd like to consider it just a friend inquiring about his best bros romantic endeavors as friends are wont to do then that might be the easiest course for both of us to take in this situation.  
GT: However since youre an awfully sharp fellow and i suppose i havent been very subtle, it might do us some good for me to just admit that im asking because i would hate to learn that the answer is yes.  
TT: Well, the answer’s no.  
TT: No, I’m not seeing anyone, I mean.  
TT: …  
TT: Are you?  
GT: Ah nope!  
GT: I mean i had a few brief flings and whatnot shortly after we arrived but its been a bit since any of that.  
GT: Dirk when i said i missed you at the beginning of all this i meant it in more ways than one.  
GT: And of course i dont expect you to be on the same page or anything like that and i mean i certainly didnt intend for this to come up while youre trying to do other things.  
TT: You’re fine, dude. I knew research was kind of a lost cause the minute I started messaging you.  
TT: I know for a fact you’re already being more direct than either of us have been in a long time, but could you just - what do you want here?  
GT: I should probably go ahead and get to the heart of the matter huh!  
GT: Well to put it simply id like to get back together.  
GT: With you obviously. As a couple.  
GT: What do you want?  
TT: I … wouldn’t be opposed to doing that.  
TT: Fuck, sorry, being direct.  
TT: I want to get back together with you.  
TT: I’ve kind of wanted to get back together with you since the moment we broke up.  
TT: But that doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea.  
TT: If we’re going to do this, we should probably talk about what went wrong before.  
GT: Yes i think thats quite a good idea!  
GT: Although first i think i have to say that im just gobsmacking relieved right now and a little giddy as well.  
TT: I wouldn’t describe it in those terms, but yeah. Me too.  
GT: For christs sake dirk if you want this to be a productive conversation you really should stop saying things that make me all flustered!  
GT: But on a serious note yes i do think we have a lot of things to discuss.  
GT: Id like to think that ive said most of the things that i need to at this point although of course if you feel that anything should be revisited the floor is all yours.  
TT: Yeah, no, I think all the shit we’ve talked about has been good.  
TT: Not the shit itself, but the whole act of actually talking about it instead of both pretending it doesn’t exist.  
TT: I know I have a lot of shit that I need to unpack, though.  
TT: Do you think we could try and have this conversation in person?  
TT: I don’t know if that’ll make it easier, but it’ll make it harder for me to avoid it, I think.  
TT: And I don’t want to avoid things if they’re going to keep me from you.  
GT: *Tugs at collar*  
GT: I know you get on my case about not thinking through the things i say sometimes but do you hear yourself strider?  
GT: Youre making it awfully hard to stick to this plan of talking through our issues before any malarkey occurs.  
TT: You’re one to talk, dude.  
TT: Also, another point for having this conversation in person: you won’t be able to RP during it, as stupidly endearing as that may or may not be.  
GT: Alright alright in person it is!  
GT: How does tomorrow suit you? Since its getting late and all.  
TT: Tomorrow sounds great.  
TT: There’s this cafe not far from my place that’s pretty good, if you’d want to meet there.  
GT: Excellent!  
GT: Would your bot building schedule allow for a two pm meet-up?  
TT: I think I can squeeze it in.  
GT: Well then i quite look forward to it!  
GT: Ill see you then.  
GT: <3  
TT: See you.  
TT: <3  


golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 11:41pm  


*  


golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 2:01pm  


GT: Awful sorry im late chap! Im still not quite used to navigating whilst flying.  
GT: Have you gotten a seat yet?  
TT: Don’t sweat it, dude, I just sat down.  
TT: I’m up by the front.  
GT: Im looking around but i dont see you.  
TT: Jake. We’re making eye contact.  
GT: Oh right you are!  
GT: Sorry i just wasnt expecting you to forgo the shades.  
GT: You look awfully nice i have to say.  
TT: You’re one to talk.  
TT: Now are we going to just text or do you want to come sit down?  
GT: Yes yes i know.  
GT: Im heading right over now!  
TT: Cool.  


golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 2:04pm  


**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading!!


End file.
